Where's Buffy? Edward Needs a Slaying

I want to talk about something that everyone else is talking about.

I want to talk about vampires.

Before you go flipping on to the next blog that is discussing the Twilight saga allow me to be more specific. I want to talk about real vampires (maybe not "real" in the sense that they actually exist, but "real" in the sense of what they are supposed to be. They're supposed to be scary, blood sucking creatures of the night...no sparkly, emo high school kids who live under the overcast skies of the Pacific Northwest.

I'll admit that I've never read Twilight. I'll also admit that I shouldn't knock something before I've tried it, but I'm drawing the line at this one. People who read Twilight are obsessed (just be honest with yourselves). They're not bad people...just obsessed. I don't want to become another girl wishing she could be the next Mrs. Edward Cullen. I will also have you know that Robert Pattinson does absolutely nothing for me. That's right. Sorry to disappoint you ladies but you will never see him as a hottie of the week on this blog. I also feel the need to stress that Kristen Stewart always looks high as a friggin cloud. Am I the only one who has noticed this? Yes? Okay then...moving on.

When I was in middle school I had this idea for a television show. I never told anyone about this idea because I came to the realization that the whole idea of it was absolutely ridiculous and that no one would watch it. I really wish that I would have told someone about it because I was apparently ahead of my time and I would have made myself a lot of money.

Picture this as a pilot...girl and boy go to homecoming dance. They're high school sweethearts, totally in love, and nothing will ever come between them....not even death (see where I'm going with this?). After the dance boy gets attacked by a vampire gang and the whole town thinks he's dead. The girl is completely beside herself with grief and doesn't know how she'll ever move now that boy is dead...luckily for her the boy comes back as the undead. He's now a vampire and the vampire gang that turned him is now after her and he has to protect her from them.

Sound familiar??? You may be saying to yourself..."Wow, this sounds a lot like Twilight and you thought of it first". If you were saying that then you would be partially right...because I did think of it before the Twilight saga became a widespread epidemic, but I didn't think of it first. There was already a tv show about a human teenage girl in love with a vampire.

That's right folks....Buffy the Vampire Slayer thought of the whole idea of this human girl loves vampire boy thing. Doesn't anyone remember Buffy and Angel and their tragic love affair before he broke off to have his own spin off series? I'll go for David Boreanaz over Robert Pattinson anyday.

Sure Twilight changed some of the details but the story line is all the same. They're in love and they can't be together because that would mean him giving into his primal instincts which would inevitably lead to him eating her. (Didn't Edward let Bella drink his blood to save her life though??? Oh that's right....Angel did the same thing for Buffy...or he drank her blood to save his life. What's the difference?).

Oh, and the whole werewolf thing? Yeah...that was a movie too. It's called Underworld. You should rent it. It was more action than Twilight without the teenage angst.