I say the same thing at work everyday.
"People are either assholes or creepers." (I might copyright that...)
Picture me standing behind the counter when a man comes up to me to purchase a sandwich. It's just a typical transaction...until he opens his mouth.
Creeper: You know, there was something I wanted to tell you but I'm not sure it would be appropriate or not.
Oh Jesus...
Creeper: I was in another convenience store and they had these condoms there...
First of all, usually when someone mentions something about another convenience store it has something to do with prices. "This is cheaper at the other store", they'll say. And I'll just kind of brush it off. This, however, was something I wasn't prepare for and I immediately became uncomfortable (not that it stopped him from continuing).
Creeper: Anyway, you know how the Trojan condoms have the Trojan horse on them?
Ice Queen: I'm aware.
Creeper: Well the name of these condoms were "Hairy Goat Man". Well, you can imagine what was on the cover. ::laughing creepily:: Isn't that a terrible name for a condom? Would you use a condom that's named after a goat?
Ice Queen: No, sir. I can't say that I would.
Creeper: Well, maybe it would be a crazy time but I'm not sure I would take the chance.
Ice Queen: Goodbye, sir.
What the HELL is wrong with people? Do I have a flashing, neon sign above my head that only creepers can see saying "Talk to me about condoms"?? What would posses someone to start this conversation with some random clerk who you DON'T EVEN KNOW!!
I'll admit it...I googled the Hairy Goat Man condoms and didn't find anything. This only confirms the creepiness of this man seeing as how I've come to the conclusion that he made it all up in his head.
Showing posts with label creepers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creepers. Show all posts
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
No, I Will Not Date You. Have a Nice Day!
My part time cashier position has brought on many creepers. So far I've been asked out 4 times. I try to tell myself that I should be flattered that these men find me so attractive but it just creeps me out. Getting asked out by another 20 something is one thing, being hit on my men who are my father's age is another story.
I find this particularly creepy because I've been told I have a baby face. Some men come into the store and ask me which school I go to. I respond that I graduated and they ask me from which high school. At least these men aren't the ones who ask me out.
Case #1:
(I'm outside smoking a cig and minding my own business. Creeper #1 walks up to me. He's approx. 40ish.)
Creeper 1: What's up?
Me: Nothing (not asking the question back and not making eye contact)
Creeper: You're pretty tan. Do you go down the shore a lot?
Me: Sometimes
Creeper: Where do you usually go?
Me: Different places (not naming those places)
Creeper: Ever go to Belmar?
Me: I've been there (not admitting that I go there all the time)
Creeper: I have a house down there. You should come down and party.
Me: Sir (stressing the fact that he is too old for me), I don't even know you. No.
Case #2:
(This one was semi legitimate as this guy was 20 something. He just had nothing else going for him. I'm ringing people up and he comes up in my line.)
Dude My Age: What's up?
Me: Nothing much.
DMA begins to chat with me about where I went to school and what I do for a living. I then move over to the coffee center to make more and he follows me. It was not until this point that I realized he was hitting on me and unfortunately it was already too late.
DMA: What time do you usually work until?
Me: Sometime in the afternoon (not specifying the exact time).
DMA: We should get some coffee.
Me: I have to run when I get out.
DMA: Oh what are you up to? (DMA has officially been classified as Creeper #2)
Me: I have a party at my friend's house....in EB.
Successfully turned down Creeper #2. However, I find it important to point out that the next time Creeper #2 came into the store he quizzed me on the party I attended, hence confirming the fact that he is a creeper.
Case #3:
(This guy is a regular. He comes into the store at least once a day and is aprox. 40ish.)
Creeper #3: Hey, Ice Queen. (He actually called me by my real name because we're forced to wear name tags which only makes these men creepier.)
Me: Hello. (Continuing to ring up his items and give him his total. Not making eye contact.)
Creeper #3: We should go out sometime. (Not wasting anytime with small talk)
Me: ::laugh:: (I honestly thought he was kidding...until I turned around and he was handing me a card with his number on it). Oh! Sir, no! I can't.
Creeper #3: Okay then. (Makes a sad face and leaves...hasn't been back since)
Case #4:
(This guy is also aprox 40ish and at this point I'm beginning to see a pattern. This is the first time I've seen him and he is buying a breakfast sandwich at about 7:30 on a Sunday morning. It's too early for me to comprehend anything.)
Creeper #4: Do you like your job?
Me: This one? No. My real job? Yes.
Creeper 4: I understand. I work two jobs too. I work for BMW during the week and for the Statute of Liberty on the weekends.
Me: That's cool. (not making eye contact)
Creeper 4: Have you ever been in the Statue?
Me: No
Creeper: You should come sometime. Let me know when you come.
He then hands me two tickets to get into the Statue of Liberty. This put me in a pickle. I've never been in the Statue and I really want to go, so I took the tickets. Will I let him know when I go? Absolutely not. Will I bring someone my own age? Absolutely. If he had offered a BMW...then maybe we could have worked something out.
I find this particularly creepy because I've been told I have a baby face. Some men come into the store and ask me which school I go to. I respond that I graduated and they ask me from which high school. At least these men aren't the ones who ask me out.
Case #1:
(I'm outside smoking a cig and minding my own business. Creeper #1 walks up to me. He's approx. 40ish.)
Creeper 1: What's up?
Me: Nothing (not asking the question back and not making eye contact)
Creeper: You're pretty tan. Do you go down the shore a lot?
Me: Sometimes
Creeper: Where do you usually go?
Me: Different places (not naming those places)
Creeper: Ever go to Belmar?
Me: I've been there (not admitting that I go there all the time)
Creeper: I have a house down there. You should come down and party.
Me: Sir (stressing the fact that he is too old for me), I don't even know you. No.
Case #2:
(This one was semi legitimate as this guy was 20 something. He just had nothing else going for him. I'm ringing people up and he comes up in my line.)
Dude My Age: What's up?
Me: Nothing much.
DMA begins to chat with me about where I went to school and what I do for a living. I then move over to the coffee center to make more and he follows me. It was not until this point that I realized he was hitting on me and unfortunately it was already too late.
DMA: What time do you usually work until?
Me: Sometime in the afternoon (not specifying the exact time).
DMA: We should get some coffee.
Me: I have to run when I get out.
DMA: Oh what are you up to? (DMA has officially been classified as Creeper #2)
Me: I have a party at my friend's house....in EB.
Successfully turned down Creeper #2. However, I find it important to point out that the next time Creeper #2 came into the store he quizzed me on the party I attended, hence confirming the fact that he is a creeper.
Case #3:
(This guy is a regular. He comes into the store at least once a day and is aprox. 40ish.)
Creeper #3: Hey, Ice Queen. (He actually called me by my real name because we're forced to wear name tags which only makes these men creepier.)
Me: Hello. (Continuing to ring up his items and give him his total. Not making eye contact.)
Creeper #3: We should go out sometime. (Not wasting anytime with small talk)
Me: ::laugh:: (I honestly thought he was kidding...until I turned around and he was handing me a card with his number on it). Oh! Sir, no! I can't.
Creeper #3: Okay then. (Makes a sad face and leaves...hasn't been back since)
Case #4:
(This guy is also aprox 40ish and at this point I'm beginning to see a pattern. This is the first time I've seen him and he is buying a breakfast sandwich at about 7:30 on a Sunday morning. It's too early for me to comprehend anything.)
Creeper #4: Do you like your job?
Me: This one? No. My real job? Yes.
Creeper 4: I understand. I work two jobs too. I work for BMW during the week and for the Statute of Liberty on the weekends.
Me: That's cool. (not making eye contact)
Creeper 4: Have you ever been in the Statue?
Me: No
Creeper: You should come sometime. Let me know when you come.
He then hands me two tickets to get into the Statue of Liberty. This put me in a pickle. I've never been in the Statue and I really want to go, so I took the tickets. Will I let him know when I go? Absolutely not. Will I bring someone my own age? Absolutely. If he had offered a BMW...then maybe we could have worked something out.
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