RTT: Secrets of Love

-Remember when I was talking about Penn State giving me transcript troubles? You know, how I placed the order for transcripts to be mailed out 2 weeks ago? Yeah...they never arrived. If I have to face the force of nature to venture up those mountains to State College I'm going to bring a can with me.

-This weekend I spent my first Valentine's Day single in 10 years. Maybe some of you can do the math on that...I'm not that old. I've had a Valentine every year since I was 13.

I thought about writing a post about it....love. I played around with the idea of writing down things men do wrong, but then I came to the realization that maybe men aren't really doing anything wrong. Even if they were, I'm sure they don't care what I have to say about it. Then I heard this song...
Then I realized that there is no secret to love. It just happens. It usually happens when you're not looking for it...at least that's when it happened for me.

-Speaking of Michael Buble...he's my hottie this week (after many weeks without one). I think it's time to bring them back.
- My friend thinks he discovered the secret to love while watching a movie. The problem with this secret is that it doesn't work on yourself...in fact it won't work if you know about it at all. If you know the secret, you must use it selflessly for others. I'll tell you if you want to know...but if you don't then stop reading....

I'll wait...

...are they gone?

Okay! Here it is! The secret to love...

You need to find 2 people in a room/bar/party who have no idea the other one exists. They need to be 2 completely average looking people (Not gorgeous, not fugly) and if one has already noticed the other this won't work. You go up to each one individually and say something like, "See that guy/girl over there? Yeah, that one. He/she told me you were cute." Once you say this to both of them, the wheels will start turning and one will go talk to the other one. Then you just sit back and watch love develop out of thin air. I'm telling you...these two will be together forever. Trust me on this one.

Okay...the rest of you can come back now.

- Have you ever had one of those days when your iPod or iTunes is on shuffle and it just keeps playing all the right songs? Whatever you're feeling at that moment...the iPod just knows. It's creepy. I'm sure Apple will legitimately come out with a product that will read human emotion. Just like how Mercedes came out with a model that senses when you're dozing off at the wheel and wakes you up. Some people think that's really cool. I think it's the creepy. I'm surprised human beings aren't part machine already.

Remember Me? Your Friend?

My entire life I've always gone through girlfriends like underwear. I hang out with a girl or group of girls for a while and then eventually we lose touch and don't talk until we randomly see each other at a diner a few years down the road.

For the most part this happens because eventually they all become absolutely obsessed with a boyfriend. Yes, that's right folks. I'm not in middle school or high school or even college. I'm in my twenties and this is still happening to me. I guess I have this aura about me that draws in crazy bitches who don't know what to do with themselves if a guys not around.

Take this story for example, when I was in high school I was on the cheerleading team and I had gotten really close with the girl who was captain. I would go as far as to say that we were best friends at the time. All of a sudden, she got a boyfriend and went absolutely nuts and quit the team because it was taking away from her "Joey time". She was on that team for 7 years and she just up and quit over Joey. And let me tell you...Joey was a loser. He had graduated high school the year before and was pretty much doing nothing with his life but making enough money at his part time job to support his weed habit.

I have another friend now who is having thisproblem post college. She met this guy in college and it was nice and convenient then, but now that they're both graduated and live 5-6 hours away their devotion to each other is slightly irritating. She organizes her work schedule so that she gets all of her days off in a row so that she can make the 5 hour trip to see him. She goes to visit this guy and all he does its talk about marriage and babies (and other shit that I'm too young to even hear other people talking about) then he cries because she's not paying enough attention to him. (Yes! He CRIES. You can't make this up people).

So she texts me Saturday night..."I think I'm going to break up with Sam. This is too much." Ya think? It took you 7 months to figure this out?

Just as I get all excited because I might actually have my friend back I get another text the next night. "God, I love him... :-D". WTF? Less than 32 hours ago you wanted to break it off with him and now you're using emoticons? This makes me sick. Even if you loved your boyfriend enough to not want to break up with him every other day, I still don't need you to text me to tell me how in love you are. It kind of makes me ill.

Do I text you the details of my love life? NO! I don't want to hear how in love you are...today. Text me when you get over your emotionally unstable relationship and want to get a drink...without him.