Remember Me? Your Friend?

My entire life I've always gone through girlfriends like underwear. I hang out with a girl or group of girls for a while and then eventually we lose touch and don't talk until we randomly see each other at a diner a few years down the road.

For the most part this happens because eventually they all become absolutely obsessed with a boyfriend. Yes, that's right folks. I'm not in middle school or high school or even college. I'm in my twenties and this is still happening to me. I guess I have this aura about me that draws in crazy bitches who don't know what to do with themselves if a guys not around.

Take this story for example, when I was in high school I was on the cheerleading team and I had gotten really close with the girl who was captain. I would go as far as to say that we were best friends at the time. All of a sudden, she got a boyfriend and went absolutely nuts and quit the team because it was taking away from her "Joey time". She was on that team for 7 years and she just up and quit over Joey. And let me tell you...Joey was a loser. He had graduated high school the year before and was pretty much doing nothing with his life but making enough money at his part time job to support his weed habit.

I have another friend now who is having thisproblem post college. She met this guy in college and it was nice and convenient then, but now that they're both graduated and live 5-6 hours away their devotion to each other is slightly irritating. She organizes her work schedule so that she gets all of her days off in a row so that she can make the 5 hour trip to see him. She goes to visit this guy and all he does its talk about marriage and babies (and other shit that I'm too young to even hear other people talking about) then he cries because she's not paying enough attention to him. (Yes! He CRIES. You can't make this up people).

So she texts me Saturday night..."I think I'm going to break up with Sam. This is too much." Ya think? It took you 7 months to figure this out?

Just as I get all excited because I might actually have my friend back I get another text the next night. "God, I love him... :-D". WTF? Less than 32 hours ago you wanted to break it off with him and now you're using emoticons? This makes me sick. Even if you loved your boyfriend enough to not want to break up with him every other day, I still don't need you to text me to tell me how in love you are. It kind of makes me ill.

Do I text you the details of my love life? NO! I don't want to hear how in love you are...today. Text me when you get over your emotionally unstable relationship and want to get a drink...without him.