Friday, August 5, 2011

Don't Mislead Me, Dick

So my friend and I have kind of become obsessed with The Advice Annex. It's pretty much this crazy funny chick who has as much trouble with men and life as we do. The difference is that she makes podcasts and youtube videos with her true likeness while I hide behind this anonymous snowflake over here.

Please forgive my cowardice. friend posted this video to my Stalkbook wall and I found it inspiring. So inspiring in fact that I feel the need to share my own take on things that men shouldn't do (mostly because if I shared it on Stalkbook, these pricks would know I was still angry about it).

Her number one is great. Bring money on a date. Excellent idea. I was kind of almost seeing someone once who never paid for me when we went out to eat. I was forced to eat salads and other inexpensive items from the menu. He probably thought I was trying to be dainty and girly when I was really just poor.

Number seven is the real kicker. Don't mislead me, Dick! This means that you shouldn't go on a date with your best friend's cousin on Saturday night, tell her Sunday morning that you want to see her immediately and then drive to her house a half hour away and TURN HER CLADDAGH RING IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO CALL HER IN TWO WEEKS! That's right, folks. My Claddagh ring was mistreated. Ask any Irish girl you know and they'll tell you the deal with the Claddagh. When the hands are holding the heart away from you, it means you're single. When the hands are facing the heart into wrist it means you're in love and going to get married...for serious. Soul mate type shit. Don't ask what the ring means, listen for me to give you the full Irish story about it, and then decide to turn it if you're just going to dump me two weeks later (because "it's too weird" that I'm your best friend's cousin) while I'm wearing a broken flip flop and standing in a 3 inch puddle. Please just don't do it. It's painful.

Why am I still friends with this prick on Stalkbook?


otin said...

You are really a nut, lol!

blueviolet said...

Unfriend that SOB right now!