Before I begin let me just say that it has come to my attention that the UnMom was the first to create the Random Tuesday Thoughts. It's has become so popular that I never really knew who started it and I'm afraid I have not been giving her the proper credit she deserves. Please forgive me.
Here we go...
- There's a couple who comes into my store all the time. They're probably in their late teens. The guy is a total douche. He's always making comments to this girl and throwing things on the counter for her to pay for. I really want to tell her she can do better but he's always standing right there!
- It's so funny to see babies all dressed up in sports gear. You know they really don't give a crap who wins. Your sports team is something that you're born into. When I was young I used to root for the team who had the prettiest colors or the coolest mascot. I considered myself to be a Miami Dolphins fan.
-Why do I always pick the wrong lane at the toll booth. I'm always behind the one who needs detailed directions to Canada. Come on people! Buy a map and pull over!
-I hate the brown paper towels they give us to use at school. It's just paper! It doesn't absorb anything. If they spent the money on real ones I wouldn't have to use so many. Surely it would even out.
-Have you seen the new mouse traps that hold the mouse inside the thing so you don't see it once it's captured. It's like a little dome of death. If you can't see the mouse inside then how do you know if one is in there? Do you have to pick it up and kind of give it a little shake to see if there's anything inside? If you do that, what happens if the mouse isn't dead yet and then you feel and hear it squirming around inside for a last chance at life? The thought of it creeps me out.
-Have you ever seen the dating commercials where the chick is riding the horse and she goes, "I'm just a 'goof' looking for my 'ball'."? Who the hell says shit like that? I think that's a surefire way to not get a date.
-I wish facebook would stop recommending I be friends with Hailey Glassman. Why would I want to be her friend? I don't know her. I'm not one of those crazies who like being "friends" with celebrities. I prefer to be friends with people I actually know.
-Friends don't let friends date guys who write "tends to think of himself of a one-man wolfpack" as their facebook status.