Thursday, November 19, 2009

Have You Met My Best Frenemy?

I wrote this on my old blog last year and a lot of my readers enjoyed it (which isn't saying much because I think I only had 8 or so at the time). Anywho, I've read a few posts about frenemies and I wanted to share my own insights. That's when I realized I already did.

So here's a snipit from the old blog (don't you love how I'm slowly giving away my identity?). Hope you enjoy!

My mentor and I were having a conversation today about two of the girls in our class. Sara and Alana are best friends. Today at recess Sara was playing with a bug she had found and Alana came over and stomped on it. In a typical kindergarten fashion, they both came over to tell us about it. Once they walked away I turned to my mentor and said that they’re destined to be life long frenemies. After a minute or so of hysterical laughter, she convinced me to write a blog about it.

Frenemy: (n) Someone who is both a friend and enemy, a relationship that is both mutually beneficial or dependent while being competitive, fraught with risk and mistrust.

Of course, I continued this conversation with a friend of mine. Being of the male gender, he was completely confused by the entire idea of a frenemy. I don’t blame him…it’s something that I don’t quite understand myself. One of the most interesting things about frenemies is that they seem to be female, therefore boys do not understand them. “I don’t get it,” a boy may say, “if you don’t like someone then don’t be friends with them.” Silly boys, if only it were that simple.

I have to admit that I’ve had my fair share of frenemies in my past. In fact, I can remember having frenemies way back in first grade. If you’re a girl, frenemies are just a part of life. The worst part about frenemies is that as much as you want to cut them out of your life, you realize that you need them for something. Maybe she has the best toys? Maybe you need her to pass a class? Maybe she has a really cute brother? Maybe she knows your deepest darkest secret and you cannot afford to make her angry? (This one has always been my downfall.) Whatever the reason it’s not a situation a girl enjoys getting into. Luckily, I’ve compiled a list of things to look out for when trying to avoid frenemies.

BEWARE: FRENEMIES COME IN ALL AGES, SHAPES, COLORS, AND SIZES. DO NOT GET CAUGHT OFF GUARD!!!!

First Grade Frenemy: This is the girl in the class who likes to buy friends. Sure, she offers you her Beauty and the Beast pencil…little do you know she’s about to go tell the teacher that you stole it from her! Don’t worry though…she’ll always offer you some of her snack at lunch to make up for any confusion.

Fifth Grade Frenemy: This is the girl who calls you on the phone so that the two of you can take about how much you hate Paige…little do you know that she has Paige on three way and she’s listening to the whole conversation! Don’t worry though…she’ll invite you over to her pool party to make up for any confusion.

Ninth Grade Frenemy: This is the girl who you confess your undying love for the guy in fourth period to. She’ll promise you to put in a good word since she sits behind him…little do you know that she secretly wants him for herself and eventually you’ll find them making out at the next hockey game. Don’t worry though…she’ll get her hot brother to ask you out in order to make up for any confusion.

College Frenemy: This is the girl who likes to go out and have a good time. She’ll invite you out with her and some other friends so that you can have a bonding experience…little do you know she’s about to leave you stranded with her boyfriend’s creepy cousin and no way home. Don’t worry though…she’ll buy the next round in order to make up for any confusion.

This is where my frenemy experience ends. I’m sure I’m bound to have many more as I continue on the journey of life. You’d think a girl would learn…

12 comments:

otin said...

A guys frenemy is the one who is telling you that your girlfriend is a loser, while, in fact, he is actually sleeping with her!

or the guy who takes the last piece of pizza! lol

rxBambi said...

I have had way to many frenemies. I'm trying to think if I've had any in my adult life. Oh yes, yes I do. there's the woman in the junior service club who shows up at your very first meeting and say's "ohhh you're in the club now? Too bad we can't blackball people anymore"
Yes, this happened. Last year. this is also the woman who introduced me to my husband 7 years ago. Go figure.

Joanie M said...

Frenemies run rampant where I work! There's so much back stabbing going on, I'm surprised we don't all slip on the blood.

Single and Shallow said...

Wow, you nailed it on the descriptions! I think we never 'learn' because we secretly thrive on it. Sick, I know. But that hot brother was totally worth 3 hours with the creepy cousin...just sayn'.

blueviolet said...

I remember some of those situations and then I saw it again with my daughter and her frenemies. Great post!

Mr. Apron said...

Oh, man!

I want to be someone's frenemy.

BAD!

At least I'm skinny said...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I can think of two college frenemies right off the top of my head.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

Fun post - takes me back.

Here's a middle age version...

This is the woman who tells everyone behind your back what your horrible teen son is doing wrong and how you are such an inept mother to not be able to put a stop to it - all while you are going through chemotherapy.

Don't worry though - she'll buy you a weekend retreat after chemo to make up for it.

Poindexter said...

Missed this post the first time, thanks for the replay. So much truth it's blinding! -Diane

Katherine said...

OMG! This is so very true. I have the 4th, 9th, and College Frenemy. Oh, and I've also had the Corporate Frenemy.

This is the girl that will tell you all the "company" secrets she "knows" to get close to you in hopes that you will tell her your plans for moving up the ladder. Later, you'll find out that she's put your plan in motion for herself.

Sarah K said...

oh snap. i think i might be the manipulative bitch that gives guilt gifts to make up for any confusion! you suck....love your blog!! need anything waxed?

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