Wednesday, November 11, 2009

They Haven't Discovered a Big Enough Diamond for Me

I've honestly lost track of the number of girls my age who have gotten married since high school. I have a serious bone to pick with these chicks! I understand that you found the love of your life and are just chomping at the bit to have at least 3 more of his kids to add to the 2 you already have but enough is enough! Just because you want to play house doesn't mean I have to do it with you.

Every time I run into someone it's the same comments over and over...

"Are you engaged yet?"
"Where's the ring?"
"When's the wedding?"
"When are you going to settle down?"
"When I was your age I was pregnant with baby #2."

I can't take it anymore. Get off me! There are several reasons why I'm not engaged and I feel that they are very well thought out reasons. Allow me to share them with you.

1. I don't know any man in my age bracket who can afford the diamond I want. I've designed several engagement rings that I would like to have and the cheapest one came to about $10,500. I wasn't even that crazy about it once everything was all said and done.

2. I don't want to cook. I can't cook. I don't cook for myself let alone someone else. I'm just not sure if I could live with someone else's growling stomach hanging over my head. I can't deal with the pressure.

3. I don't want a baby. Don't get me wrong...I love kids. I enjoy my friends' babies. I may even babysit them if I'm feeling spicy! I love kids so much that I spent about $100K so that I could become qualified to work with them all day long, but when all is said and done I come home at the end of the day and it's quiet. I like not having to unplug the safety protectors off my outlets when I want to use them. I like knowing that if I drop a book of matches on the floor that I can leave them there until I feel like picking them up. I like being able to go to the mall without lugging a 20lb diaper bag and stroller along with me. I'm a hot mess and for me to have a baby along with it would just be a danger to our nations youth. I don't want to be responsible for ruining the future.

4. I'm still debating between a super expensive glamorous wedding or eloping at a little beach resort. I've been debating this for a long time and I don't plan on deciding anytime soon. A ring on my finger would only push the decision and I would make the wrong choice for the wrong reasons. Why would you want me to live with that?

Don't take this the wrong way. I have no problem with people my age who are married. I know a few that are very happy and they're great together. I'm just saying that it's not for me so don't force it down my throat. Chill with that sh**!


Alix said...

Preach it sistah! Preach it.

Go for the super-sized diamond, I say. If you can't get it when the guy is still over the moon for you, then when? Once the mother in law moves in with her dementia, it's all over but the crying.

And one more piece of sage advice... elope! Save your money for yourself. The wedding is all show and free bar anyway. If you want to surround yourself with family and friends - have a destination wedding and make them follow you.

And by the by... is there a potential Mister Right in your life, or is all this wedding dialog just hypothetical? Either way, you rocked it totally!

The Peach Tart said...

At least you're conscious about why you aren't ready to get married yet. Most people are just on auto-pilot on what they've been told "the program" is.

otin said...

By the time that you are ready and I save ten grand, I will be way too old! hahahaha! LMAO!!

Seriously, though, why rush?? Establish a career first and then just let things happen!

Baby News said...

No need to rush, really. And kids? Yeah, I didn't want them either for a long time and people were always on me about it. When are you going to have kids? What do you mean you don't want kids? It just got on my nerves.

I say hold out for that monster ring!

Joanie M said...

That's where I went wrong! I settled for a teeny chip of a diamond when I got engaged. (smacking myself in the head)

Don't you DARE settle for less than you really want! and I'm not just talking about engagement rings.

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

I enjoyed my twenties, married at 30, had my kids at 31 and 34, and don't regret a second of it. Well, maybe wish I had taken ne more travel jaunt before the mortgage...

100,000K for a teaching degree...Girl, you definately need to hold out for someone who can afford that dream ring...

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

I got engaged young. My friends who waited, now have rings twice the size of mine. Shove that in their faces.

Joanne said...

Well I think your attitude just rocks!! Good way to think - there is nothing cool about settling and its many of the hasty young marriages that just end badly.

You will know when its right - its an amazing feeling and its worth every minute, day, week, and years of waiting.


Optimistic Pessimist said...

agreed. people always seem to think that just because they wanted something (or have it) that you want the exact same thing. I'm all for doing your own thing.

At least I'm skinny said...

Ahhhhhhhhhh, that made me laugh.

blueviolet said...

You say it! Wait until you do get married, then the baby questions get just as annoying!

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Good for you! So many people rush into it just because everyone else is doing it. I like your style! ;)

Rebel Mother said...

Christ! Some people think getting married is be all and end all.

It is in fact, a form of legalised slavery.... well, it is to me!

Stick to your guns sweetie. Hang on till you get a huge rock. Be footloose and fancy free. Nothing like it.

Love RMxx


here's my advice - leave marriage, babies, etc until your 30s... live your best life while you are young and beautiful

and wait until you're starting to shrivel up and get all gross and then really ruin yourself with kids and a husband

just my advice

Rebel Mother said...

Me again!

Award for you at mine.

Love RMxx

KaLynn said...

I admire you! Some of us, namely me, tried to make a few 'seasonal' relationships into 'lifetime' relationships. I didn't wait for the right relationship. Now I have children from those seasonal relationships and it hurts them in the long run more than it EVER could you. You are one very very smart lady!

When it is right, you will know it. Ignore those busy bodies! They do not know what is right for YOU. Only you do!!

Midtown Girl said...

I hate it when people ask those personal questions! It's like - if I was I would EFFING TELL YOU damn!

Post a pic of ur dream ring - I want to see it!!

lol xoxo

Single and Shallow said...

Oh my god, I repeat those same reasons to people over, and over, and over again. I am 25 years old and entirely too selfish still to think about any of that...especially the kids part. And yes god damn it, I expect a giant rock to commit. Deal with it.