Saturday, January 30, 2010

The Hairy Goatman

I say the same thing at work everyday.

"People are either assholes or creepers." (I might copyright that...)

Picture me standing behind the counter when a man comes up to me to purchase a sandwich. It's just a typical transaction...until he opens his mouth.

Creeper: You know, there was something I wanted to tell you but I'm not sure it would be appropriate or not.

Oh Jesus...

Creeper: I was in another convenience store and they had these condoms there...

First of all, usually when someone mentions something about another convenience store it has something to do with prices. "This is cheaper at the other store", they'll say. And I'll just kind of brush it off. This, however, was something I wasn't prepare for and I immediately became uncomfortable (not that it stopped him from continuing).

Creeper: Anyway, you know how the Trojan condoms have the Trojan horse on them?

Ice Queen: I'm aware.

Creeper: Well the name of these condoms were "Hairy Goat Man". Well, you can imagine what was on the cover. ::laughing creepily:: Isn't that a terrible name for a condom? Would you use a condom that's named after a goat?

Ice Queen: No, sir. I can't say that I would.

Creeper: Well, maybe it would be a crazy time but I'm not sure I would take the chance.

Ice Queen: Goodbye, sir.

What the HELL is wrong with people? Do I have a flashing, neon sign above my head that only creepers can see saying "Talk to me about condoms"?? What would posses someone to start this conversation with some random clerk who you DON'T EVEN KNOW!!

I'll admit it...I googled the Hairy Goat Man condoms and didn't find anything. This only confirms the creepiness of this man seeing as how I've come to the conclusion that he made it all up in his head.

18 comments:

Sweet-Britches said...

DEFINITELY a creeper!

I Bing'd "hairy goat man condoms" too, and couldn't find anything.

But I did find some "horny goat" BEER. And that beer company gave away free condoms with their beer.

Perhaps he saw some "horny goat" condoms instead.

Which makes his interest in them even WORSE than originally thought.

otin said...

Hairy Goat man??? Sounds like a description of Bin Laden. lol

Mango Girl said...

EWWWWWWWW! Is this someone we should look for on Dateline?

You have my utmost respect for what you do. Truly. ♥

xo, Mango

blueviolet said...

Just be thankful you were on the other side of his counter and not on the other side of his condom! ;)

Kate said...

OH God he sounds like ht should be on posters saying stay away from the crazy man. Who talks like that to someone they don't know?

Good luck

Kate xx
http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

Doc said...

What he is talking about is called 'Horny Goat weed' seriously I saw it in a convenience store once and had to google it. It's supposedd to be like a 'antural' viagra.
Glad I found your blog. and no I have never typed a comment containing the words Horn goat weed before... EVER!

E. said...

Creepy. Oh so creepy. Why are there people like that at your work!? :(

Cathy said...

WTF dude?! That's creepy.

People are strange. My neighbor cornered me and started talking about her hip replacement surgery, another neighbors stint in rehab and her obesity. All this before she told me her name. Some people just don't understand social etiquette.

Joanne said...

OHH *shudders* so frikken sorry that humanity can be so creepy!!!

Melanie's Randomness said...

I'm squinting at the computer screen cuz that's majorly creepy!! I think its retail. I used to get stuff like this all the time when I worked retail. You should copyright that quote. It's so true!

3 Men and a Lady said...

LOL, what a weirdo. I wouldn't like strange men to say the words "hairy", "goat", or "condoms" to me. And all 3 together is a triple threat.

Katherine said...

LOL! That's just awesome!

Hey, I gave you an award. Stop by to get it! http://ckeoctober.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-got-new-award.html

The Batcave said...

maybe he was drunk? or tripping.

Poindexter said...

you see a true cross section of humanity, some normal and some really abnormal specimens. Yikes, that dude was dancing on the extreme fringe of abnormal.

Medora said...

Disturbingly funny - what a freak! You probably made his day.

Irish Chick Soup said...

I've all but stopped going into jiffy stores. I also have "the sign" and there's nothing convenient about getting the eyeball by some creeper that thinks I want to be their friend.

Jennifer Lynn said...

Seriously. He could have come up with a MUCH BETTER name than Hairy Goat Man condoms.....he totally stole that from Horny Goat Weed....be original weirdo. BTW: Do you have a gun behind that counter? Just a thought.

Merlin said...

ROFL.. sorry for laughing but couldnt help it..I mean do you have to respond to such stuff??