I was working my "other job" (yeah, the clerk job) on a Friday night when a man came in wasted. He walks up to the counter and demands to see the "receptionist" (is that my new title).
"WHERE IS THE RECEPTIONIST? I must speak with the receptionist."
I was standing right in front of him.
"Dude, chill out. What do you want?"
He leans over the counter towards me. I immediately go into defense mode ready to beat the crap out of this guy once he tries to touch me.
Drunkard: I need condoms.
Me: So go pick some out.
He got a little nervous since the condoms are off in a corner almost behind our counter.
Drunkard: Can I go get them myself?
Me: Well I'm not going to to it for you.
Drunkard: Don't you have Trojans?
Drunkard: I'm not sure if I can trust these Lifestyles. Do you think I should?
Me: That's not a decision I can make for you.
Drunkard: I know...but I'm not sure what I should do...
Me: Well I guess Lifestyles are better than nothing.
Drunkard: You're right. Thank you for your wisdom.
Drunkard: Oh my God...I only have $4. What happens now?
Me: Don't worry about it.
Drunkard: You just gave me 3 cents towards sex with a girl I've wanted since high school. I'll never forget you for this!
Me: Please try...