Thursday, January 7, 2010

The Dog Ate WHAT??

I got home from work yesterday to find my sister in the kitchen. She was on the phone and her boyfriend was sitting across the table from her while the dog was laying under the kitchen table. The phone conversation was going something like this...

"Yes"
"No, I'm positive he ate it. What should I do?"
"Peroxide?"
"How much?"
"Okay"
"How long should I wait."
"Okay...Thank you."

When she hangs up the phone the three of us are just staring at each other.

Sister: Ice Queen, we have something to tell you.
Me: Oh Jesus...
Sister: Max ate a condom.

A CONDOM???
I just don't get it. So many questions ran through my mind at this moment. Where was the dog while the condom was being used? Was he chilling right next to you watching you do your thing? Where did you put the condom when you were done with it? Did you throw it to him like a frisbee? Fetch, boy! How long did it take you to realize this happened???

I don't think I want to know.

Word to the wise: If your dog ever eats a condom (because apparently this happens all the time) give him two drops of peroxide to induce vomiting. That should do the trick, but if it doesn't then he needs to be rushed to the vet for xrays and surgery.

My poor pup.

21 comments:

California Girl said...

that's hilarious altho' probably not for the dog. also, used, yuck!

like the new masthead and wallpaper. Happy New Year!

Single and Shallow said...

Ahahaha this just made my day.

Optimistic Pessimist said...

poor puppy, but hysterical story!

Katherine said...

Oh, I do feel bad for the pup...but I can't help but laugh!

Brian Miller said...

err...hope everything comes out ok...

Poindexter said...

uh, not exactly the conversation you're expecting to have when you arrive home. Hope the dog is feeling much better today. :)

Little Ms Blogger said...

I can't believe you didn't ask and I hope you made your sister clean up the puke.

Talk about putting a damper on the mood...

blueviolet said...

I'd have to know. I'd just have to ask my sister what the heck was going on. I'm sorry for the doggie.

Jaime said...

wow. i dont know if i'd want to know how that happened... but i guess this proves a dog will eat just about anything!

otin said...

I hope that it was an unused condom??? ewww!

I hope that your dog is okay.

Melanie's Randomness said...

Ohhhh your poor doggie. It doesn't get a break does he? aww I hope he's okay. I'll remember the peroxide thing just in case.

Julie said...

I stared at my screen for at least 10 seconds when I read that...OOOOMG....poor pup...poor you!! so awkward! Hope he's ok!

mlle. Little Locura said...

ewwww, that's possible!? a condom, oh my god!
hope he's okay!, and you!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher said...

so many questions... i could picture something like this back in the day with my sister...

Gropius said...

Sounds like a yellow lab I had growing up. Sweet Maverick would eat ANYTHING. Like just to be a rebel. We had to...yes...I will say it...pull entire tube socks out of that dog's behind. Hope that condom surfaces.

Taurus said...

I wonder if peroxide will work on my girlfriend?

Ocean Girl said...

I hope the dog is okay. How is he?

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

I'd want to know the how and why, too - poor doggy! Did the peroxide work?

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

omg omg omg.
Was it USED? Was it with a wrapper? alskdjfa;lksdjf;lkasjdfl;

sickness.

rxBambi said...

ummm, ewwwww? I'm just saying. And you kiss this poor pup? I think sis needs to brush his teeth or something for you. ewww.

That Kind of Girl said...

And this is why couples need to remember to empty the bed-side trash can more often than just before company comes over. (Also: couples DEFINITELY need to remember to empty the tell-tale trashcan at least before company comes over 'cause, I mean, ew.)