Monday, January 18, 2010

The Ice Queen Has Her Day

An old middle school friend and I just recently got back in touch through the glorious Stalkbook. Nancy and I have been trying to make plans to meet up for several months now but our schedules haven't allowed it. When she invited me to her birthday party I absolutely had to attend. I knew it was going to be a night that would go down in history...and it was.

Back Story: When we were in middle school we weren't exactly part of the popular crowd. Most of our wardrobes were composed of hand-me-downs and free T shirts collected after years of field days. I had to be careful what I wore to school since my mother was friends with one of the taller more popular girls. Whenever she grew out of her clothes they went to me and of course she couldn't wait to point that out to the entire grade when I was wearing her outfits that had clearly gone out of style the previous year. (Did I mention we were 12 years old when this was happening? Apparently 12 year olds are very fashion conscious.)

Anywho, I walked into the party and said my hellos to the group. It was within the first ten minutes of the party when Nancy pulled me aside for a little chat...

"You will never guess who our bar maid is..."

It was one of the fashion critics from middle school. I couldn't believe it. Finally! My day had come! All those years of terrible memories of being humiliated and riding the bus home in tears will be worth it! I'm going to have my revenge! (Of course when I say "have my revenge" I really just mean that I'm going to be annoying and ask her for dumb things like napkins and extra silverware that I clearly don't need and only repay her with the bare minimum tip.) That's right! My braces are gone and I'm fabulous (clerk job aside).

As we're standing in a group of middle school alumn, Bar Wench comes over and asks us if we need anything. She immediately realizes that she knows all of us and says hello...to everyone but me. That's right. I was snubbed. This poor girl had no idea what she just did. I'm not the girl with poofy frizz hair and braces anymore...I'm an Ice Queen and she's was about to get the freeze.

The party had a bottle of vodka along with some cranberry and orange juice. We were out of all three...it was show time.

Ice Queen: Excuse me, we're out of Grey Goose. Will you bring us the next bottle?
Wench: Sure (leaves, comes back with bottle)
Ice Queen: Thank you so much! We're also out of cranberry. Will you bring another carafe?
Wench: Okay...I'll be right back. (leaves, comes back with carafe)
Ice Queen: Thanks, but I didn't realize that the birthday girl is more of a Screwdriver drinker. We'll need a carafe of orange juice as well.

At this point she knew what was happening. She's a bitch but she's not dumb. I thought about giving her a break for fear of my beverages being laced with spit, but by that time it was too late. Even the birthday girl was taking advantage. She was several screwdrivers in and was calling out orders.

"Tell her I would like some wine!"

Who am I to say no to the birthday girl?

"Excuse me, bring us a bottle of Chardonnay!"

She brought the bottle and two glasses. By this time the Birthday Girl and the Ice Queen were dancing to the Lady GaGa and got so over excited that the first wine glass shattered to the ground. Birthday Girl was on a role...she pulled over another employee.

"Excuse me, we have broken glass over here. Will you please ask our bar maid to take care of it before one of my guests gets cut?"

Should we have been more mature about the situation at hand and let bygones be bygones? Perhaps. Did Bar Wench learn her lesson? Perhaps. Was it worth it? Absolutely

18 comments:

Kate said...

WHat goes around comes around. I think she got off lightly. I mean she was doing her job after all...

The Queen said...

OH I knew I love you for a reason.. I love love love this blog.. I was so the kid with hand me downs.. to this day.. I WILL NOT SPEAK TO THE BITCH.. and she has tried several times to talk to me.. I went to the last (30 year) class reunion and announced I was only there to see if she was still a bitch.. then I announced she was.. and left with my bottle.. so I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS POST

blueviolet said...

Honestly, she had it coming. I gotta hand it to you for having the guts to go through with it.

The Queen said...

You got toasted by the Queen.. go pick up your award..you rock!

That Kind of Girl said...

Hey, as long as you guys didn't mind drinkin' spit. (I'm pretty sure the alcohol sterilizes it anyway.)

Alix said...

Oh hell no. You were perfect. Paying customers. Besides... even though her face looked eerily familiar (like Rachel McAdams in Mean Girls?) you really didn't recognize that riff raff. Bar wench!

It would only have been better if you were on the arm of James Lafferty. Am I right or am I right?

Go Ice, go!

Joanie M said...

She deserved everything you threw at her.

otin said...

You are evil, that is why I like you so much!

Epskee said...

There's nothing like a little childish high school like revenge when the one its aimed at slighted you in high school! There's a 12 year old girl still inside of all of us if we are honest.

10 points from me - that was awesome!

Melanie's Randomness said...

I don't blame ya one bit. Good for you. One of my favorite quotes from an Elvira movie is, "Revenge is better than the Christmas". There's no reason for people to be mean in middle school so she needs to know how it feels. Happy Birthday to your friend! That's cool that you guys finally got to meet up. =)

I'm sorry to hear about your Friday. I too didn't make a fuss cuz I don't know if I even care enough to make a fuzz. I think its the area we live in, I think I remember you saying you live in Northern NJ. Mr. Drummer Boy is from Mahwah NJ. Guys around here sometimes just suck. But there will be a light, eventually. =P

Cathy said...

Found you from The Queen.

This. Is. Awesome! Sometimes it's just fun to get revenge...ok, it's always fun to get revenge!

rxBambi said...

If she'd been smarter she'd have known not to snub the queen. Seems like she might still be 12. Good for you for making her work for you.

3 Men and a Lady said...

Ha, I love it! I guess all those cute clothes she had didn't help her future any, huh?

Jennifer Lynn said...

Some kids are so mean! We should be versed in how to scold these kids when we are young. Glad you enjoyed yourself:)

Katherine said...

I was a hand-me-down kid. My mom bought clothes at garage sales in a town of 1500...what were the chances that the previous owner wouldn't know and blurt it to everyone in class!

I shall live vicariously through your revenge!

:)

Midtown Girl said...

"I'm an Ice Queen and she's was about to get the freeze" AHAHAHAHA.

SHUT IT DOWN BEYOTCH - heart you tons for this and handling it fabulously!!

Single and Shallow said...

I effing love this! Who cares about maturity when a situation like that is presented to you. I'd have been disappointed if you walked away without abusing the opportunity.

114LBS said...

i love this, revenge is sweet