An old middle school friend and I just recently got back in touch through the glorious Stalkbook. Nancy and I have been trying to make plans to meet up for several months now but our schedules haven't allowed it. When she invited me to her birthday party I absolutely had to attend. I knew it was going to be a night that would go down in history...and it was.
Back Story: When we were in middle school we weren't exactly part of the popular crowd. Most of our wardrobes were composed of hand-me-downs and free T shirts collected after years of field days. I had to be careful what I wore to school since my mother was friends with one of the taller more popular girls. Whenever she grew out of her clothes they went to me and of course she couldn't wait to point that out to the entire grade when I was wearing her outfits that had clearly gone out of style the previous year. (Did I mention we were 12 years old when this was happening? Apparently 12 year olds are very fashion conscious.)
Anywho, I walked into the party and said my hellos to the group. It was within the first ten minutes of the party when Nancy pulled me aside for a little chat...
"You will never guess who our bar maid is..."
It was one of the fashion critics from middle school. I couldn't believe it. Finally! My day had come! All those years of terrible memories of being humiliated and riding the bus home in tears will be worth it! I'm going to have my revenge! (Of course when I say "have my revenge" I really just mean that I'm going to be annoying and ask her for dumb things like napkins and extra silverware that I clearly don't need and only repay her with the bare minimum tip.) That's right! My braces are gone and I'm fabulous (clerk job aside).
As we're standing in a group of middle school alumn, Bar Wench comes over and asks us if we need anything. She immediately realizes that she knows all of us and says hello...to everyone but me. That's right. I was snubbed. This poor girl had no idea what she just did. I'm not the girl with poofy frizz hair and braces anymore...I'm an Ice Queen and she's was about to get the freeze.
The party had a bottle of vodka along with some cranberry and orange juice. We were out of all three...it was show time.
Ice Queen: Excuse me, we're out of Grey Goose. Will you bring us the next bottle?
Wench: Sure (leaves, comes back with bottle)
Ice Queen: Thank you so much! We're also out of cranberry. Will you bring another carafe?
Wench: Okay...I'll be right back. (leaves, comes back with carafe)
Ice Queen: Thanks, but I didn't realize that the birthday girl is more of a Screwdriver drinker. We'll need a carafe of orange juice as well.
At this point she knew what was happening. She's a bitch but she's not dumb. I thought about giving her a break for fear of my beverages being laced with spit, but by that time it was too late. Even the birthday girl was taking advantage. She was several screwdrivers in and was calling out orders.
"Tell her I would like some wine!"
Who am I to say no to the birthday girl?
"Excuse me, bring us a bottle of Chardonnay!"
She brought the bottle and two glasses. By this time the Birthday Girl and the Ice Queen were dancing to the Lady GaGa and got so over excited that the first wine glass shattered to the ground. Birthday Girl was on a role...she pulled over another employee.
"Excuse me, we have broken glass over here. Will you please ask our bar maid to take care of it before one of my guests gets cut?"
Should we have been more mature about the situation at hand and let bygones be bygones? Perhaps. Did Bar Wench learn her lesson? Perhaps. Was it worth it? Absolutely