Wednesday, October 7, 2009

No, I Will Not Date You. Have a Nice Day!

My part time cashier position has brought on many creepers. So far I've been asked out 4 times. I try to tell myself that I should be flattered that these men find me so attractive but it just creeps me out. Getting asked out by another 20 something is one thing, being hit on my men who are my father's age is another story.

I find this particularly creepy because I've been told I have a baby face. Some men come into the store and ask me which school I go to. I respond that I graduated and they ask me from which high school. At least these men aren't the ones who ask me out.


Case #1:
(I'm outside smoking a cig and minding my own business. Creeper #1 walks up to me. He's approx. 40ish.)

Creeper 1: What's up?
Me: Nothing (not asking the question back and not making eye contact)
Creeper: You're pretty tan. Do you go down the shore a lot?
Me: Sometimes
Creeper: Where do you usually go?
Me: Different places (not naming those places)
Creeper: Ever go to Belmar?
Me: I've been there (not admitting that I go there all the time)
Creeper: I have a house down there. You should come down and party.
Me: Sir (stressing the fact that he is too old for me), I don't even know you. No.


Case #2:
(This one was semi legitimate as this guy was 20 something. He just had nothing else going for him. I'm ringing people up and he comes up in my line.)

Dude My Age: What's up?
Me: Nothing much.

DMA begins to chat with me about where I went to school and what I do for a living. I then move over to the coffee center to make more and he follows me. It was not until this point that I realized he was hitting on me and unfortunately it was already too late.

DMA: What time do you usually work until?
Me: Sometime in the afternoon (not specifying the exact time).
DMA: We should get some coffee.
Me: I have to run when I get out.
DMA: Oh what are you up to? (DMA has officially been classified as Creeper #2)
Me: I have a party at my friend's house....in EB.

Successfully turned down Creeper #2. However, I find it important to point out that the next time Creeper #2 came into the store he quizzed me on the party I attended, hence confirming the fact that he is a creeper.


Case #3:
(This guy is a regular. He comes into the store at least once a day and is aprox. 40ish.)

Creeper #3: Hey, Ice Queen. (He actually called me by my real name because we're forced to wear name tags which only makes these men creepier.)
Me: Hello. (Continuing to ring up his items and give him his total. Not making eye contact.)
Creeper #3: We should go out sometime. (Not wasting anytime with small talk)
Me: ::laugh:: (I honestly thought he was kidding...until I turned around and he was handing me a card with his number on it). Oh! Sir, no! I can't.
Creeper #3: Okay then. (Makes a sad face and leaves...hasn't been back since)


Case #4:
(This guy is also aprox 40ish and at this point I'm beginning to see a pattern. This is the first time I've seen him and he is buying a breakfast sandwich at about 7:30 on a Sunday morning. It's too early for me to comprehend anything.)

Creeper #4: Do you like your job?
Me: This one? No. My real job? Yes.
Creeper 4: I understand. I work two jobs too. I work for BMW during the week and for the Statute of Liberty on the weekends.
Me: That's cool. (not making eye contact)
Creeper 4: Have you ever been in the Statue?
Me: No
Creeper: You should come sometime. Let me know when you come.

He then hands me two tickets to get into the Statue of Liberty. This put me in a pickle. I've never been in the Statue and I really want to go, so I took the tickets. Will I let him know when I go? Absolutely not. Will I bring someone my own age? Absolutely. If he had offered a BMW...then maybe we could have worked something out.

15 comments:

Alix said...

I adore you baby-faced Ice Queen! You are the coolest chica ever!

Those poor guys probably don't even know what hit them, but hey - you got statue tickets - so whatev.

PS: Your last line made me laugh out loud!

Melanie's Randomness said...

Wow! I've worked retail before for years but it was always in a girl store so I guess every guy in my stores have been the "bfs" so I've never had this problem. Geeezz that's ridicolous!!! Creepy!!!!

Mango Girl said...

I've never been in the Statue and I really want to go, so I took the tickets. Will I let him no when I go? Absolutely not. Will I bring someone my own age? Absolutely. If he had offered a BMW...then maybe we could have worked something out.

HAHAHAHA!!!

blueviolet said...

It's so funny that you remember these exact conversations. One day your prince will come...

Miss OverThinker said...

I am definitely a creeper/loser magnet.. sometimes I need to stop and check myself in the mirror to make sure I am not wearing a sign that says: "if you are a loser, please ask me out". My friends tell me to feel flattered, I would much rather not get asked out instead of being asked out by losers all the time.. very funny post - sadly totally relateable.

White Rabbit said...

fantastic. simply fantastic

Martinis or Diaper Genies? said...

ha I love it. I also love that creeper 1 said you should "party"

Joanie M said...

See? You're so cute, everyone wants to date you! To bad most are middle-aged men who probably have kids your age or younger!

oh. Now I'm creeped out! I should send you my ex's picture. If he comes in and hits on you, you can call his wife and tell her. I'll pay you! She's almost too old for him now. He'll be looking for her replacement in a few years.

California Girl said...

pretty funny lines. good for you not making eye contact and not encouraging or being afraid to offend. You might get farther if you tell them, unoffically, to "Fuck off!"

Hit 40 said...

I also saw some strange people working the over night shift at Bob's big boy!!

Theresa said...

I'm proud of you. Always...and I mean always hold out for the bigger better more expensive stuff. Kudos!

Midtown Girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Midtown Girl said...

Dude - you & me and the Statue of Liberty - save the tix & I'll go with ya chickie!! lol

XOXO
Amy

Ocean Girl said...

I pity Creeper #3.

I imagined he's like that guy in the movie Hitch. Some nice guys need help.

A True Heart Girl in Jersey said...

Loved reading this. Lady Liberty rocks.